February 22, 2011

Mom Central Blogger article . . .

This article was a recipient of a Mom Central Canada Blogger Grant.
Thank-you so much for choosing my idea and encouraging me to write this!

How to Combat the Down Days
Hi, I’m a Mom. I have wonderful children whom I love to pieces, a husband who works hard to support us, a beautiful home, a church family, and so many more blessings that I can hardly begin to count . . . so what’s wrong with me? Why do resentful thoughts enter my head? Why do I feel overworked and underappreciated? Didn’t I choose this task as wife and mother? And why does it seem like no one else feels this way- Is it just me?

I’m writing today about those “dark” moments or days. I’m not trying to address post-partum depression, a very real and difficult struggle for many women. I am talking about the majority of moms who wonder why they don't always feel fulfilled in their role as wife and mother.
I am one of these women. Most days are good, some days are bad, and there are random moments in-between that are awful. I’m sure some of those moments can be chalked up to hormones, financial stress, a child being difficult, or a bad experience that day. But there are also those days where the excuse isn’t there and we wonder why.

So what’s the solution? Ever heard the phrase “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” or “Happy wife = happy life!”. Well, there’s definitely some truth to these statements. But is it selfish to want something for ourselves? Well, in my opinion, the answer is NO, it’s not selfish. In fact, I think EVERY Mom should have something that is just theirs. As long as you find your balance between being there for your family and yourself, it’s healthy to pursue something that is just for you.

And if you’re not sure where your interests are ~ well, there’s a Mom that pursues everything out there! There’s the groups of crafting Moms ~ sewing, quilting, scrap booking, and home d├ęcor. Then there’s the women that can absorb book after book. There’s those that spend their time on the computer pursuing graphic design, photography, or blogging. There’s also the social Moms, who like to go visiting or volunteering. There’s the fitness Moms, the meal planners, the bakers, the crazy couponers, the cleaning perfectionists, the crunchy mama’s, and pretty much anything else in-between.

Online, you'll find a support group or forum for everything from trying to conceive to potty-training, from sharing meal ideas to uploading pictures of our latest crafty endeavour. Moms love to connect and bounce ideas off one another, and to be encouraged by one another. And there’s no shortage of us out there! Networking tools like email, Facebook, Flickr, and Twitter have made it easier than ever.

And you may be suprised by what kind of support groups exist within your own community. All you have to do is gather up some friends, or contact your local health unit or community church. Joining a Mom n' Tots group, finding a local gym that provides babysitting, swapping babysitting with other Moms, or finding a womens Bible study- are all ways that you can connect with other Moms during daytime hours. Getting a 'kid-break' for you, while putting them in an activity that helps develop them socially is a win-win situtation. Or if you have the flexibility of going out in the evenings- you might be able to join a guild in your area, take a night class, or start up a regular girls night or Splurge group with some friends.

And as for those dark days and moments? It’s amazing how less resentful we can be of our kids and spouse when we don’t feel like everything is about them. When we feel fulfilled and blessed, and are in a happier frame of mind, that attitude will spill over into our other daily tasks. And isn’t that what we really want? To be a better Mom, and a more loving spouse? By taking a break and nurturing ourselves once in awhile, we’ll be better equipped to do just that.


Tania Grim said... #

Did yo write this rebecca? its a great article i can relate ALOT!

**nicke... said... #

thank you! i needed this today!

MichelleW said... #

Very well written - I think most mam's will relate :0)

A Plain Path said... #

Very much agree! It does much for the mental and emotional well-being to have something other than housework and diaper changing to participate in or focus on. I've seen many women who try to find peace by trying to view their daily tasks as "unto the Lord." I think some truly do have that heart, but honestly I will never find anything glorious about cleaning toilets or washing yet another load of dishes. Yes, I'm thankful to have dishes to wash and thankful for indoor plumbing. I think many women feel frustrated when they again feel overwhelmed by these tasks instead of lovingly doing them. But, to me these are things that simply must be done...life is full of tasks like this. I don't try to make myself feel something toward those types of tasks that isn't there. haha! I do them, am glad they are done and keep our home running smoothly, but now give me something fun, cheerful to do and something that I love. Sewing does this for me. Reading gives me something else to talk about. Blogging/email gives me some time with other creative women, time even with friends without having even left the house. It's all about having a bit of balance in one's life.

Jessica said... #

Wow- very well said! You are so talented in many different things:)

Veronica Lee said... #

Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog.
Have a nice day!

This Mom said... #

This post was a great idea. We all need to remember the different options we have for combatting the down days...and hopefully minimizing them a bit as well!

Just found you, and I am now a follower. It's always nice to find another Canadian!

Kate @ This Mom Loves

Paula Schuck said... #

This post is a great idea and it speaks to a lot of Moms. Good work. I am a new follower from

Margaret Aikema said... #

Well written Becca